So...I need some encouragement. I sent out graduate school applications a few weeks ago and got my first rejection. Thats tough to hear even though its only one right now, it fades away a little bit of hope. However, I talked to my best friend and she told me "Its not where God wanted you". I teared up a little bit but then prayed. I realized it really isn't where God wants me right now. He has a funny way of making everything lay out the way its supposed to. He did it with the man I thought I loved and proved to me that he wasn't at all who I was supposed to be with. He did it with my current job, He made me have patience before showing me the path I was supposed to walk down at this point in time.

Regardless, It is still a little disheartening but Im not giving up. Thats what life is about. If you have a dream then you must go for it. Never stop. Sadly people today think that they can't reach their dreams and end up giving up to settle for second best. They lose their heart, their passion, their love and talent. Well Im not letting mine fade away completely. I'll apply to schools until Im 50 if I have to because I want nothing more then to walk into an OR or a clinic and know that I have patients who trust me to help fix them. Whether thats replacing a broken heart with one that pumps life into that person or simply telling a mother her child has the flu and if she gives him medicine and keeps him hydrated he will be better in no time. Thats my dream and I will find a way to chase it.

Ok I feel as though Ive done enough rambling now, if anyone reads this then God Bless You for taking a few minutes out of your day to listen to me.

Stay happy friends, remember to make someone smile today. :)

Love. What is it? What does it mean?

Well I recently have found and am still learning that love comes and goes. I had it. I felt it. I lost it. Recently Ive been out of a two year relationship and it is really tough to go from having someone to talk to everyday to not speaking to that person you shared so many secrets and challenges with. It took me exactly 9 months and way too many second chances to realize I deserve more. Now coming from me, thats a big step. I don't think I deserve much of anything but I'm finally learning that there is definitely someone out there for me and God has not put him in my life yet. It isn't love if you have to work all the time for it. Love isn't easy but if its true love then its easy to love that person. He gave me that first love to help me through two years of life and to help me grow as a person. He was placed in my life and served his purpose and now it is time to move on to the next chapter. I have never felt better. I keep seeing quotes that tell me you must be happy alone before you can make someone else happy and I don't think I could have believed it anymore than I do now.

So for anybody out there who is single, or has been in this position, don't get down. You should feel empowered and know that God has a plan and time and place and you will meet that person someday soon. You must keep focused, follow your dreams, smile for no reason, listen to happy music, dance around your room, make someone else smile, keep your faith in God.

Don't give up, love is out there but there isn't a love any stronger than the one God has for you. He'll provide when its time.

A new year. Most people make new year resolutions and goals that somehow with the flow of life end up on the back burner. Im not a resolution kind of person. However, I do think new adventures, goals, and challenges are always positive. So...Im starting new.

1. Be happy.
Regardless of the day, challenges, problems, people, and whatever else life throws at me I need to be happy. Never go to bed without a smile or being thankful for one positive event in the day.

2. Remind myself of who I am.
Never say never, but never let those around me get me down. Coworkers, family, friends, patients, random people on the street. I need to be me and Im gonna be me.

3. Make myself happy.
Lose weight, eat healthy, find love, get into graduate school, find an apartment, make enough money to pay my bills, move out of my parents house, get a good job. These are all goals I have for myself that I think are going to make me happy but I have a feeling that I need to make myself happy internally and these things will fall into place.

4. Make someone smile everyday.
Anyone I meet, as long as I can make one person smile or laugh then I have made my day worthwhile and I am satisfied.

5. Keep God close.
I don't want to lose sight of him or all that He has blessed me with. So through my singing, church attendance, prayer, and daily devotionals...I will keep Him close to me at all times through all things. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me"


So....a fresh adventure. Here we go. :)